CONTEST TO SUGGEST PRIZES FOR THE EXISTENTIAL CONTEST

Compete to suggest the best prize for the contest to reinterpret the great existential masters!

Submit your own prize suggestion and win a prize for suggesting the best prize! [win what?]

Submissions so far:

Eternal bliss, unlimited ignorance and neverending happiness.
--from Arijjan, who is from nether Netherlands

An American sandwich: Two luxurious slices of Wonderbread slathered in mouthwatering I Can't Believe It's Not Butter encase one slice each of deep-fried Spam and Treet, covered with a mountain of melted Velveeta cheese. The sandwich is then deep-fried to perfection and served to your face via a high-velocity projectile.
--from Tom McCoid, who works in retail

Grand prize: a year's free supply of fear and trembling.
Second prize: a six month supply of sickness unto death.
Third prize: a small leap of faith, say, perhaps, over a mud puddle, but a deep mud puddle.
--from Sister Lin, clearly influenced by Kierkegaard

A date with you?
--from Anonymous, clearly influenced by alcohol

To live a life of endless addiction untill you die of the hallucination of
being alive.
--from Robert Vazquez, influence unclear

A pocketful of nausea.
--from George Lane, hmmmm....

A loaned set of the written works of Brother Void, until the winner negotiates past those niggling little suicidal tendencies.
--from Shawn Porter, hopefully still with us...

An Indulgence. (One of those free passes the Pope used to sell to replenish coffers reserved for families of Inquisition victims who were later proven by DNA testing to be innocent.)
--from Maryanne Conheim, masticator of hazelnut chocolate truffles

How about a t-shirt that reads: "I conquered the Abyss and all Brother Void gave me was this lousy t-shirt!"
--from Karl Lind, sells tourist trinkets on the Left Bank

I would like to win: The opportunity to publicize all my neurotic thought processes not so much for fame/profit but for the guaranteed redemption of my identity, not as a neurotic, but as a genius caged in an unimpressible society.
--from KSchroeder, what do you think "arsmoriende" means, anyway?

Two left feet -- to avoid deviation from the path.
--from Kwazi Mojo (where he comes from, he'sdrop-dead georgeous)

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